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I suck at bosses
How much I suck at bosses.
Sure, Freedom Planet is the first platformer I have ever really played, so it was a bit of a learning experience, but the actual platforming went pretty OK on my first run on Easy, and my second one on Normal (both as Lilac). The bosses however, oh lord.
So, Relic Maze's boss is the gatekeeper for the one person who uses Cyclone as their primary attack. First time around, that was me. It was also on Normal instead of Easy, which I quickly corrected when I found Freedom Planet under the TV Tropes listings for "Nintendo Hard". So I got walled for a while, but no problem, the Mantalith is a pretty easy boss and my second time I did not even get damaged at all until near the end.
Fortune Night went smoothly as well, both on my first and second run. Serpentine is hilariously easy to stunlock, which makes the miniboss fairly amusing. The leopard robot thing (forgot name) was also no problem the first time around because of health regen, and I clutched it on my second Normal run.
But then, the trouble started on Sky Battalion. Entire stage went really smoothly both runs. Didn't die once, not even to the annoying Spade miniboss, but Daihl, oh he managed to screw me up badly.
The pattern is really simple, and the boss should not be too hard, but it took me 13 tries on Normal to get it. For some reason I seemed to not be able to time my attacks, always missed a feather or two, promptly danced around for 20 seconds and got hit by his stupid aimbot ball a lot in the process. Every single time. I have this problem of getting greedy in games, but this wasn't greed, it's hard to even get greedy in this fight because you don't need to deal major damage. Just wait for him to float up, slash the feathers, kick the head in, no biggie, but I am really really intent on fucking it up, apparently.
Jade Creek's miniboss was pretty easy, as well as the main boss because they probably didn't think the average player was going to be using cyclone cancels and decent boosts, Thermal Base was no problem either, since both bosses are really easy to hit in between their cycles. Pangu Lagoon killed me a couple times because I got messy with the boosts, but it wasn't terrible. These were all just simple, cycle-based, somewhat easy to avoid bosses. The ones where you need to get the damage in, is what ended up causing a lot of trouble.
Battle Glacier, the Absolution miniboss was brutal both times. Of course I knew exactly what it was doing and how to deal with it, but I still managed to consistently miss half my kicks due to turning around too quickly, and then promptly getting confused and shot at. Daihl was brutal as well, but only on Normal, on Easy the regen made the fight easy. On Normal though, it took me 10 tries to develop a strategy of boosting from the corner to hit him while he's doing the easy-to-avoid sparkler attack, and getting health from boosting through all his minions when necessary. Still took me five tries with that strategy and I ended up barely clutching it.
For Final Dreadnought 1, I actually ended up randomly getting the speedrunner achievement during warmup for 'teh urn' in Time Attack. Syntax wasn't too hard all times around, because it was all extremely simple on-screen cycles with a clear pattern and easy to avoid attacks. What followed after, though...
I ended up dying a couple times in-stage for Final Dreadnought 2, but never because of running out of oxygen, just the annoying crusher things. Mega Serpentine, though, was probably the worst part of the run on both difficulties. His pattern was already pretty clear to me, with a series of ground attacks followed by either his flamethrower or projectile attack. I died, a lot. I was somehow not able to keep up with the dodging in spite of being able to anticipate everything. After dying about 15 times, I had enough and watched a 10-minute video explaining his exact pattern and the best practices to defeat him. It still took another 15 tries to defeat Serpentine, whom I had by then named 'FUCKING SNAKE JUST DIE'.
Final Dreadnought 3 was a pretty easy stage, with mostly just a lot of running, and the Milla fight only took me two tries on both difficulties, because all of the attacks are easy to dodge once you know them.
Then came 4, the final stage. First time around, I got stuck in the platforming section for eternity, and ended up dying a couple times to the giant doomray too. Brevon ended up being pretty tough and it took me a decent effort to get him. On Normal, though, it was a different story. Went through a decent chunk of the platforming in about 2 minutes, then used a zip to get past the rest (happened to catch that one on SGDQ), the doomray killed me twice due to clumsyness, but it was all pretty OK up until Brevon. The second Absolution fight ended up being pretty easy, where I somehow killed it whilst being dead already on the second try. Mech Brevon was not a big problem either, most of his stuff is easy to dodge, so he was pretty much a pushover. Final Brevon was what really caught me of guard. I knew his pattern, I knew what sounds to listen for. I knew that you need to jump and do a pretty late cyclone to avoid his first slash succesfully, but I died, a lot. I consistently got him down to 1/3 health, but the fight always ended up not being sustainable because there's always be that random slash out of nowhere, not to mention that forgot his cape pattern for the entire duration of the fight. As time went on, it only got worse. I got greedier and greedier and had to discipline myself. So I took a chill pill, went out for 30 minutes, came back and sucked some more. Always was it the tiny inconsistencies, the tiniest mistakes that got me killed, constantly. It was brutal. I eventually got him.
So, the total death tally, for my second run through the game, having watched multiple speedruns and a couple of strategy videos, as well as learning about all of the damage mechanics and a couple of zips and the like?
108, One-hundred and eight times have I gloriously fucked up a boss fight in a way I didn't know was possible. I was ever so slightly pissed at myself, and rewatched Two Best Friends Play Freedom Planet, and I noticed that they, of course, sucked. It was their first run, it's kind-of a given, but I also noticed something interesting. For example, the Syntax boss in FD1 which was pretty easy to me, ended up killing them a lot. They didn't know how to properly use a cyclone, or even anything about strategy, really. But when they came to the big bosses, Mega Serpentine and all of the Brevons, I was astounded at what they were getting away with. I mean, obviously you're going to make dumb mistakes your first time around, but they were getting away with it, somehow, while I constantly got shat on for tiny mistakes. I understand they probably have much more of a natural affinity towards platformers, but I still can't quite understand how they, and many others do it so much less messy than me, while being a lot more messy. I suppose its going to come naturally by just playing the game more, but right now I am perplexed at how people are going through the bosses, and how I am not able to.
And that concludes my daily/weekly/IDK need to self-rant about something I did wrong.
Fucking snake, just die.