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Islam appears as if it ways made up by Primitive, medieval Arabs who didn't know anything about the world outside from their local area nor had interactions with a divine being.

ISLAM- The belief that an All-Knowing, All-Powerful God decided to reveal his doctrine for mankind, to a 7th century illiterate Arab slave trader(slave and sex slave owner who had regular sex with his 9 year old wife) ,in a cave where no one else was there to verify, through Angel Gabriel over 23 years rather than just beaming it into his brain.
Islam is an extremely Arab-centric religion, it seems as if it was completely made up by an Arabic person/people. The more a religion is tied to the culture of whatever society created it, the less likely it is to be legitimate. An omnipresent All-Knowing God wouldn’t care where on earth the primates he gave sentience to come from. This is what I will be discussing.

THE KAABA
The holy site for pilgrimage is very conveniently located in their backyard (Saudi Arabia.) This would be like a religion of Japanese origin claiming the holy site for pilgrimage is in Tokyo. Muslims have to pray towards the Kaaba which is located in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Pre-Islamic Arabia was extremely underdeveloped and primitive. Literature wasn’t important and credible texts were rare so sometimes historians have to go with the biased Islamic perspective. According to the Abrahamic religions(Islam included), Abraham lived at around 2100-2200BC which is thousands of years before Islam was born in the 7th century. Islamic sources claim Abraham built the Kaaba for Islamic practises and it was his most important accomplishment. However the Bible never mentions the Kaaba and some Muslims claim Allah is the same God of the bible. Strangely the Kaaba was never mentioned in Judaism and Christianity. Only Islamic sources claim Christians and Jews also respected the Kaaba religiously. It was difficult to unify the many sects of Judaism and Christians on many things but not one sect of either religion mentioned the Kaaba. This suggests this idea was entirely fabricated. Islamic sources claim that the Kaaba in Mecca was a well known, important trade centre. Most Historians agree this is false as there was no mention of the Kaaba by the powerful Roman Empire, and the neighbouring Persian Empire and neighbouring Northern African Rulers until the birth of Islam . All historical evidence indicates the Quran was built by Arab Pagans a few centuries before Muhammad, not Abraham, yet again another false Islamic claim made by early Muslim Arabs or Muhammad.
The Zamzam Well is a well located in Mecca, Saudi East of the Kaaba the holiest place in Islam. According to Islam, it is a miraculously generated source of water from God, which sprang spontaneously thousands of years ago when Ibrahim (Abraham's) son Ismael (Ishmael) was left with his mother Hajar (Hagar) in the desert, thirsty and crying. Ibrahim made a request to Allah- 14:37: "{O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivable valley by Your Sacred House (the Ka'bah at Makkah) in order, O our Lord, that they may perform Salah (prayer). So fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks.}" Muslims believe Zamzam was the first among many fruits provided to Ibrahim by Allah. provided to Ismail and Hajar were in the desert. Very conveniently the Holy Water in Islam is located in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. The water is so holy it is taught to heal diseases and sickness; there is no scientific evidence to support this. This appears to be a knock-off version of a biblical story (one of the many in Islam) where Abraham’s concubine and his son Ishmael were left in the desert of Paran in Palestine. The Hadith Sahih Muslim 31:6046 says that ZamZam water is special, can quench hunger,feed you and make you gain weight;there is of course no scientific evidence to support these claims. Islam makes it appear as if it is a miracle that there is water well in the desert which is expected coming from primitive Arab desert dwellers with little scientific knowledge. Water is underground in most deserts because as rainwater falls, it is absorbed underground and flows through the underground including under a desert.

IMPORTANCE OF ARABIC
Allah stated His holy book must be written, memorised and taught in Arabic(conveniently Muhammad's language) to Prophet Muhammad even though there are thousands of other languages in the world. Vulgar Latin or Middle Chinese were the most spoken language in the world in the 7th century when the Quran was revealed,English and Mandarin are the most spoken languages in the 21st century. Only 5% of the world's population today speak Arabic (Arabic is the 5th most spoken language in the world) so it is illogical, confusing and absurd why God wanted "the most important words for mankind" to be specifically delivered in Arabic. If Allah had revealed his doctrine to all cultures and corners of the world, there would be an independently verifiable method to confirm that every language in the world received the same message from the same God. This would be very powerful evidence in favour of Islam. It is a shame he decided against this:
Quranic Verses on Importance of Arabic:
41:3- "A Scripture whereof the verses are in detail, a Lecture in Arabic for people who have knowledge"
7:1: "Alif, Lam, Mim, Sad (These are the names of letters of the Arabic alphabet and in this sequence only Allah knows their meaning here;this is one of Allah's many miracles)."
12:2: "We have sent it down as an Arabic Quran so you people may understand/use reason"
14:44: "We have not sent any Messenger except with the language of his people (Arabic) so he can make things clear to them. Allah misguides anyone He wills and guides anyone He wills. He is the Almighty, the All-Wise."
42:7: "So We have revealed an Arabic Quran to you, in order that you may warn the capital city and all who live nearby..."
44:58: "We have made the Quran easy in your language (Arabic) so that they may take heed it."
41:44: "If We had made it a foreign Quran, they would have said, ‘If only its verses were clear! What? Foreign speech to an Arab?’ Say, ‘It is guidance and healing for those who have faith, but the ears of the disbelievers are heavy, they are blind to it, it is as if they are being called from a distant place." - Could Allah's book not also be unclear to Non-Arabic speakers which was the vast majority of the world in the 7th century and the 21st century?
Why the Almighty God would have a preference for one language over the thousands of others is unclear. Muslims believe Arabic has a special status in Islam. It is compulsory to learn Arabic to be a Muslim and perform activities like the 5 daily prayers, recite the Shahadah and read the Quran. Millions of Muslims around the world memorise the Quran and verses for prayer which are entirely in Arabic whilst not knowing the meaning of what they are saying when they pray everyday and read the Quran. It is estimated up to 10 million Muslims around the world (the majority not Arabic speaking in countries like Nigeria, Indonesia and Pakistan) have memorised the whole Quran. Most of them barely understand a word of what they have memorised It seems likely an All-Wise, All-Powerful God would be able to come up with a better way for people to show devotion to Him than reciting words in a foreign language they don’t know. God’s chosen messenger was an Arabic Person. Islam is filled with Key Arabic terms like Hajj, Shahadah, Taqwa, Taraweeh, Ramadan, Zakat and encourages Arabic customs like keeping a beard, eating dates and women covering their hair.

SPLITTING OF THE MOON
54:1 The Quran states: "The Hour draws near; the moon is split in two". And if they see a miracle they turn away and say 54:2 "Passing Magic," Sahih Bukhari 4:56:81 Narrated Anas states : \"*That the Meccan people requested Allah's Apostle to show them a miracle, and so he showed them the splitting of the moon."*The Quran and Hadith claim that the people of Mecca,Saudi Arabia asked Muhammad to prove that he had divine powers so he miraculously split the moon into two pieces and then, presumably, put it back together again. There is absolutely no scientific evidence whatsoever that the moon has ever been split into two. Since the moon is visible to half the planet at any given time, we should expect to see numerous accounts from different parts of the world attesting to this event if it actually happened. The Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Persians, Chinese and Indians had avid astronomers who should have seen this event and recorded it in their histories. The absence of historical record from other civilisations, contemporary to Muhammad, is a strong indication that this event never happened. Yet again another Islamic lie. The Quran states in 4:82 "Do they not then consider the Qur'an carefully? Had it been from other than Allah, they would surely have found some contradictions." The Quran appears to tell us it certainly didn't come from God as we have clearly found a contradiction in the book between what it says and what actually happens/happened in reality as the moon never split. The Quran also says in 2:256 "Whoever believes in Allah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold(The Quran) that will never break. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower." Clearly the Quran is broken and is not trustworthy as it has lied to us and tried to deceive us about Science. The lie of the splitting of the moon disproves many of Allah's 99 names such as AL-HAQQ(The Absolute-Truth,) AR-RASHEED(The Infallible Teacher,) AL-ALEEM (The All-Knowing,) AR-RAQEEB(The Watchful One,) AL-HAKEEM(The All-Wise,) ASH-SHAHEED(The All Observing Witnessing, AL-MAJEED(The Glorious-Most Honourable,) AL-HAMEED(The Praiseworthy,)DHUL-JALAALI WAL-IKRAAM(Possessor of Glory and Honour, Lord of Majesty and Generosity.)


DESCRIPTIONS OF HEAVEN/PARADISE
The invention of an afterlife by religions such as Islam is to serve our primitive desires to stay alive and is a result of the fear of One's mortality. The invention of an afterlife is also means to satisfy our primal desires to feel pleasure and Islam provides this as it sates in 41:31- "You will have therein(Paradise) whatever yourselves desire, whatever you want." The sole purpose of a Muslim's life is to enter Paradise and according to 29:64- " This life is nothing but diversion and play (to distract you from the ultimate goal of paradise)" The way heaven is described in a religion is usually reflective of the culture the religion originated from; this is expected as religions are fabricated by humans not sourced from divine beings.
The Islamic Paradise (Jannah) is described in the Quran and in Hadiths as a place with lots of magnificent gardens, nice greenery and weirdly obsesses on how there are many rivers and sources of water in Paradise. Here are some verses on the Islamic Paradise:
36:34 - “And We have made (In Paradise) therein gardens of date-palms and grapes and We have caused springs of water to gush forth therein.
3:193 - “But as to those who are careful of (their duty to) their Lord, they shall have gardens beneath which rivers flow....”
16:31 - “The gardens of perpetuity, they shall enter them, rivers flowing beneath them; they shall have in them what they please...”
47:15 - "The description of Paradise which the righteous have been promised is that in it are rivers of water the taste and smell of which are not changed..."
5:119- "...There are gardens, with rivers flowing beneath – their eternal Home. Allah is well-pleased with them, and they with Allah. That is the great salvation."
9:72- "Allah hath promised to Believers, men and women, gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss."
18:30 - “These it is (Paradise) for whom are gardens of perpetuity beneath which rivers flow,”
54:54 - "Verily, The Righteous, will be in the midst of Gardens and Rivers in Paradise."
The fascination with gardens and water appears to be a reasonable depiction of heaven coming from primitive desert dwellers who didn’t have much access to greenery and vast areas of water. Most people don't think of water when they think of a heaven except of course primitive Arabs who lived in the sweltering heat of the desert.
Islam is famous for having an extensive list of things which are forbidden under the religion (Haram) . There are customs like drinking alcohol, gambling, wearing gold and women being able to dress freely, and beautifying one's appearance which was and is part of most cultures including Pre-Islamic Arabia that were subsequently banned under Islam. I believe the reason religions like Islam ban trivial, inconsequential thing like beautifying one’s appearance is because if you can force people to give up something so intrinsic to their society and to being human, it is much easier exercise control. The purpose of tedious rules is to make its adherents cement themselves more concretely to the religion. Muslims are being controlled massively by the the commands of a fictional being(Allah) and unfortunately do not seem to understand that. There is no other reason. The rules do not benefit you but the business. Every time you follow these rules with no evidence they came from a divine being, you are paying another subscription fee until you decide you are being used and drained to the religions benefit, not yours. Muslims are obligated to follow the Quran and it's rules as it is supposedly the word of God- 4:59- "O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad ), and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority and if there is deviation amongst yourselves, refer back to Allah, His Messenger (and Quran ), if you believe in Allah and in the Last Day. That is better and more suitable for final determination."
FASCINATION WITH WINE IN PARADISE
The fascination with wine in the Islamic heaven indicates that the Arabic authoauthors were into alcohol all along. Allah is clearly a confused man who doesn't even understand and abide by his own words as he says in 5:90 that alcohol consumption is the work of Satan but then promises alcohol in heaven for righteous Muslims. 5:90- "O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, Al-Ansab, and Al-Azlam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaitan's (Satan) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful." It seems weird to condone something in Heaven that you said is bad to do on Earth.Here are Quranic verses on Alcohol in Paradise:
76:5 - "Indeed, the righteous will drink from a cup [of wine] whose mixture is of Kafur."
76:17 - “And they will be given to drink a cup [of wine] whose mixture is of ginger. “
47:15 - “The description of Paradise is that in it are rivers of water the taste and smell of which are not changed; rivers of milk of which the taste never changes; rivers of wine delicious to those who drink; and rivers of clarified honey (clear and pure)....”
FASCINATION WITH WOMEN AND SEX IN PARADISE
The Quran forbids men and women especially women from beautifying themselves, tells men to lower their gaze, tells men and women to be modest in dress and behaviour, and discourages the provocative sexual display of their bodies and and discourages hyper-sexuality however extensively discusses sex and the beauty of the women in heaven. Yet again, it seems weird to condone something in Heaven that you said is bad to do on Earth.
24:31 - “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.”
Here are Quranic Verses regarding the beauty of the women in Paradise:
2:25- “...they shall have therein Azwajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives), (having no menses, stools, urine, etc.) and they will abide therein forever.” This means God will provide pure women for men to have sex with in Paradise.
55: 70-“Therein (In Paradise) will be fair (wives) good and beautiful.”
37:48- -“And with them (believing men) will be chaste females, restraining their glances (desiring none except their husbands), with wide and beautiful eyes.” 37:49. “(Delicate and pure) as if they were (hidden) eggs (well) preserved.”
2:25- "Virgins await those who enter paradise."
The obsession and fascination with women's beauty and sex in the Islamic Paradise and lack of regard for female sexuality with no Quranic verses appealing to a Woman’s desire for sexual gratification clearly illustrates this was made up by sexually aroused Arabian Men who were implementing their sexual fantasies into their ideal paradise. It is oddly suspicious that there are no Islamic verses describing the handsome men in Paradise for women. The misogynistic objectification of women by portraying them as commodities and treating them like prizes to be won if One is faithful to Allah is typical of the ideals of the time, where women in most civilisations were treated as second class class citizens and had limited rights compared to men.
Bonus Quranic verses on women in Islam:
4:34- "Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom you fear rebellion from, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and whip/beat them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great." This verse means men are in charge of women, because Allah made men to be better than women. Women must obey men, and if they refuse they must be punished. Refuse to have sex with them and beat them into submission.
2:223- "Men,your women are soil for you (to cultivate/farm) so go to your soil as you please, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad)." In the mind of Allah, women are like a dirty field for men to put their penises through. Plough them whenever you like (as long as they're not menstruating, of course.)
4:24- "Also forbidden for men to marry are women already married, except those whom your right hands possess(captive women aka sex slaves)." This verse means Allah permits men having sex slaves.
OBSESSION WITH DATES
Islam has stressed the holiness of the date and the date palm more than any other religion. In fact, the Prophet Muhammad said that Ajwah dates—grown in the Madinah region of Saudi Arabia—are from paradise. The date palm, mentioned more than any other fruit-bearing plant in the Quran 22 times is a symbol often associated with Muslims. Muhammad argued that seven dates in the morning protected one from poison and witchcraft. The Quran states that Mary was advised to eat dates while in labour with Jesus, to ease childbirth and strengthen the body. The Prophet was once reported to have said, “People in a house without dates are in a state of hunger.”
Some of the many Islamic verses on date-palms:
The Hadith - Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 3464 states: “ The prophet says: whoever says: Glory is to Allah the Magnificent, and with His Praise, a date-palm tree is planted for him in Paradise.”
36:34 - “And We have made (In Paradise) therein gardens of date-palms and grapes, and We have caused springs of water to gush forth therein.”
55:11 - ”Therein are fruits, date-palms producing sheathed fruit-stalks (enclosing dates)."(This verse means thankfully Allah has provided humans with date-palms on Earth)
17:91- "Or you have a garden of date-palms and grapes, and cause rivers to gush forth in their midst abundantly."
55:68- "In them (both) will be fruits, and date-palms and pomegranates."
80:29- "And olives and date palms"
54:20- "Plucking out men as if they were uprooted stems of date-palms."(Allah bragging about the punishment and torment he inflicted on innocent disbelievers using a strong wind)
It seems very convenient and oddly suspicious that God has created a special status for date-palms in his religion and talks about dates an awful lot, given the fact dates are a staple food in Saudi Arabia (It’s eaten regularly and mass produced in the Arabic World). It is very easy for a culture that loves and places great value on dates to then say that God also gives dates a special status. Why the creator of the universe would have a liking to the common fruit in the Middle East over all the thousands of fruits that exist is unclear. It would be suspicious if the God of a religion of Japanese origin claimed Sushi is a holy,special food and described how much sushi there would be in heaven e.g "For those that believe, there will be plates of sushi for them in Paradise."

PORK
The Quran offers no explanation as to why pork is impure is it states in 6:145 when God says, in reference to the flesh of swine (pig), “for that surely it is impure.” Arabs generally didn’t eat pork and thought it was an unclean animal before Islam came so it was very convenient that Allah said Muslims shouldn’t eat pork as it was unclean and impure. This highlights how the Arabs were scientifically illiterate and didn't know proper cooking kills pathogens. Why would the creator of the universe view some foods the mere humans he created eat as disgusting but others perfectly fine for them to eat. This seems like a human trait that is usually dependent on One's culture. For example, a person from the USA may view eating snails and horse meat as disgusting whilst a person from France may view this as perfectly normal.

SPREAD OF ISLAM
Islam was spread by Arab Conquest & War and Arab traders. The most Islamic regions of the world are in the Middle East/Arabic countries. Doesn't Allah know his "beautiful words of wisdom" for mankind would be spread through violent ways and evil dictators who forced it upon lands they conquered. Allah is All-Knowing, Benevolent and All-Powerful therefore he could have stopped these from happening or created a better way for his doctrine to spread through Mankind. Quran 2:256 states: "There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path." and 15:9 states: "Verily We: It is We Who have sent down the Dhikr (i.e. the Qur'an) and surely, We will guard it (from corruption.)" This verse clearly means the All-Powerful Allah and his Angels dramatically failed on their promise to protect the Quran from corruption and misuse as we know how much evil that has been committed in the name of the Quran throughout history especially given the infamous rise of Radical Islamic Terrorism over the last few decades. 99% of all terrorist attacks that occurred throughout the world from 2010-2020 were Islam related. This disproves many of Allah's 99 names such as AL-MUHAYMIN(The Preserver of Safety,) AR-RASHEED(The Guide, Infallible Teacher,) AL-HAQQ(The Absolute Truth,) AL-AZIZ(All Powerful,) AL-MUHAYMIN AL-‘ALEEM(The All-Knowing.) Doesn't Allah realise that by revealing his doctrine exclusively to Arabs, he engineered the cultural isolation of the rest of the world from his doctrine, he engineered the circumstances of Unbelievers' disbelief that live in the far corners of the world like South America,New Zealand and the Pacific/Remote Islands of the world therefore he created a punishment (Hell) for a situation he knowingly created. It is very suspicious that Allah is Arabic-speaking, Arab-centric, yet will punish non Arabs millenniums later for not believing the message they received through a game of telephone.
The Quran also arrogantly claims that key figures: Jesus(Isa), Abraham(Ibrahim), Noah(Nuh), David(Dawud), Ishmael(Ismail), Isaac(Ishaq), Joseph(Yusuf), Ezekiel(Dhulkifl), Moses(Musa), Solomon(Sulayman) ,Jacob(Yaqub) in the centuries old religions of Judaism and Christianity were actually Muslim and Islamic Prophets and gave them Arabic names. ARABIC NAMES ARE BRACKETED.

FASTING
“The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey – then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you, and perhaps you will be grateful.” (Quran: 21:85)
Fasting in Ramadan is one of the 5 pillars of Islam and must be performed if One is fit,healthy, not pregnant,not ill and not menstruating. Islam requires fasting from dawn till dusk in the holy month of Ramadan which is approximately 12 hours in Saudi Arabia. If the authoauthors were in Northern Europe where dawn till dusk can last up to 22-23 hours in the summer months, leaving a 1-2 hour window to eat a day for a whole month, they probably wouldn’t have made this difficult, extremely unhealthy and dangerous task a requirement. The author is also clearly unaware that there are parts of Northern Europe near the North Pole where the sun never sets in the summer months. This phenomenon is colloquially known as the Midnight Sun. For example Svalbard, Norway is known for having a Midnight Sun. In Svalbard, Norway there is no sunset from April to August and no sunlight from November to January. Islam was born 1400 years ago so how would people living in these parts of the world be able before the invention of mechanical clocks 600 years ago is unclear. The Quran makes no provisions for Muslims living in these areas, the Quran states in 6:38- " We did not leave ANYTHING out of this book," this is weird given the fact the Quran is meant to be the perfect,final word from the All-Knowing All-Powerful God who knows about the existence of the midnight sun.
Most of his "miracles" occurred in Saudi Arabia and nowhere else in the world.

ISLAM'S OBSESSION WITH ARABIC AND ARABIAN CULTURE
Religions are fabricated by humans, consequently, they are tied and intrinsic to the particular culture it originated from and Islam is no exception. Religious and Non-Religious people agree that 99.99%+ of religions are fabricated by humans as there are thousands of religions that make incompatible claims,each claiming to be sourced from a divine being. Islam is obsessed with Arabic and Arabic culture, every page you turn to you see a reference to Arabic culture, this isn't the case for Christianity. The Majority of people don't think of Israel, Hebrew and Israeli culture when they think of Christianity. Like I said, the more a religion is tied to the culture of whatever society created it, the less likely it is to be legitimate. An omnipresent All-Knowing God wouldn’t care where on earth the primates he gave sentience to come from. A religion that professes its universality and its suitability for all mankind, 81:27 "Verily, this (the Quran) is no less than a Reminder to (all) the 'Alamin (mankind and jinns)," seems rather centred around a specific group of people (Arabs).

All evidence points to the fact Islam and the Quran was a completely made up by Arabic People and/or Muhammad who had no contact with a Deity and other cultures beside Arabic culture adding to the fact it is filled with hundred of contradictions, inconsistencies and scientific inaccuracies. The fictional character ,Allah, was clearly obsessed with Arabs and Arabic culture and couldn't go a few pages without a reference to Arabic culture; this guy is meant to be the creator of the universe. The evidence of contradictions, both big and small serves as clear evidence of human tampering. If the Quran came from Muhammad it was nothing more than fabrication from a power hungry megalomaniac, with his claims of divine inspiration being nothing more than an attempt to conquer Arabia and Islam being nothing more than just another false desert cult to emerge from a sea of desert cults.
PS: I am Ex-Muslim
submitted by A_I-G to DebateReligion

So Spoke Maradona: the all-times #10 in 60 quotes for 60 years.

Maradona is both one of the best players in history and also one of the most controversial, both by his actions outside the pitch but also because of how gifted he was in the use of words. Most of them, from when joking about how the US ambassador in Argentina "lost his turtle" to when he said sorry in his farewell match but spoke about how "the ball can't get dirty", can only be truly appreciated if you know Spanish. If not, they're lost in translation, but I tried to recopilate the best of them that wouldn't and translate them here. There are 37 of Maradona, and 23 about him. 37 because of the years he was a player, and 23 of those he has lived after that.

About poverty and his family:

  • "As a child I never suffered hunger. But I only realized many years later that my mother's belly pains weren't because she was sick as she said, but because she didn't eat enough, so she could feed me and my brothers."
  • "I want to be the idol of the poor children of Naples, because they are exactly like I was in Buenos Aires. I know about being poor and it is bad and difficult. I don't recommend it to anyone. You want to have a lot of things and you have to be satisfied with just dreaming about them."
  • "The first time I walked into the Vatican and saw all that gold I became a ball of fire. I said to myself: 'How can you be such a son of a bitch living here and then kissing the bellies of the poor kids'. It was then when I stopped believing. And on top of that I was said that the Pope had been a goalkeeper."
  • "My mum considered me the best in the world, so if she says so it will be true. For my mother I would be willing to kill or give up football. She will always be the most important person in my life."
  • "Winning the Superclásico over River Plate is like your mum waking you up on Sunday with a kiss in the morning."

About Pelé:

  • "Pelé was one and only. The rest of us are on the background. (1986)
  • "Pelé these days is a slave. He sold his heart to FIFA. And when he gets kicked by his masters he comes to join us players".
  • "If Pelé is Beethoven, I am the Ron Wood, Keith Richards and Bono of football, all together."
  • "With Pelé we couldn't have played together because I wouldn't have liked to have a bad teammate."
  • "If I hadn't done the bad things I did in my life, Pelé wouldn't have been even second."
  • "Pelé made his (sexual) debut with a boy. He loves money more than what he loves to sleep."
  • "I am proud when people talk about Alfredo Di Stéfano because when Pelé went to play to Europe he was awful, while Alfredo was a star all over the world."
  • "Apparently Pelé can't accept that I won over him in the best player of the century award and by over 50,000 votes. He should go back to the museum."
  • "That Neymar is better than Messi? Pelé keeps saying stupid things when he takes the wrong pills in the morning."

About Brits:

About Messi:

  • "Watching Leo Messi play is better than sex."
  • "Messi doesn't need to win the World Cup to be the best in the world"
  • "I hope Messi will give Argentina the World Cup, but it won't be easy because the teams know him. For me he's a great guy, but I think I was the best"
  • "It's useless to try to make a man who goes to the bathroom 20 times before the match a leader. Lets don't deny it anymore. There is a Messi playing in Barcelona and there is a Messi playing with Argentina; and with Argentina he is just one more".
  • I am Argentinean, I can't criticize Messi. For me Messi is as much an idol as Kun is it for (his grandson and Aguero's son) Benjita. In fact I would say I'm a friend of Leíto, I saw him crying in the showers when we lost 4-0 in 2010. I even taught him how to shoot free-kicks. The two of us would finish the trainings and go to kick. It was then when he started hitting the goal. Because I taught him. I told him: you have to hit the middle of the ball, and showed how he could get his whole foot in her. And now he scores them all."

About FIFA:

  • "Havelange used to sell the rifle to somebody and then the bullets to somebody else. He played waterpolo, not football, he should speak about it".
  • "Joseph Blatter says loves me like a son. Yes... like a son of a bitch. Blatter was able to teach Platini how to steal. He once told me in Dubai how he had arranged 167 matches".

About life and his legacy:

  • "My life philosophy is pretty simple: I like to punch people when they have both arms up. When they are down, I like to help them."
  • "I had proposed myself to score two goals against Gatti, but now that he called me the little fat I'm going to score four." (1980, before scoring 4 goals against Gatti).
  • "At first the drugs make you euphoric. It's like winning a championship. And you think: what does it matter tomorrow if I won the championship today? With my illness I gave advantages. Do you know what player I would have been if I hadn't taken drugs?"
  • "In the clinic there's somebody who thinks he's Napoleon and there's another who thinks he's fucking Robinson Crusoe, and both don't believe I'm Maradona". (during his rehab in Cuba).
  • "So far I have lived forty years but worth seventy. Everything that could happen has happened to me. In one go I had left Fiorito and ended up in the top of the universe, and from there I had to cope on my own".
  • "I've played the Barcelona-Real Madrid, but Boca-River is different. It's like a fire in your chest. It's like sleeping with Julia Roberts"
  • "In my times, if somebody looked at a colleague's wife, we would take turns to punch him in the dressing room" (about Icardi)
  • "To those who did not believe in this team, and with the ladies' forgiveness: suck it. After that continue sucking it. I will always be black or white, I'll never be grey."
  • "No matter what happens, no matter who's in charge, everyone knows that the national team's #10 shirt will always be mine. Forever."
  • "If I die, I want to be born again and I want to be a footballer. And I want to be Diego Armando Maradona again. I am a player who has given people joy, and that is enough for me."

About Maradona:

  • "Maradona was a great player but, see well: he didn't shoot with the right, he didn't do headers... he wasn't complete. And there is another thing: why do so many Olympic athletes lose their medals when they are caught doped and he is not? The Argentinians do not give up. First they opposed me to Di Stéfano, then Sívori and Maradona. First they decide who is the best of the three of them and then they realise that I am worth more than the three of them put together." - Pelé.
  • "The greatest player I’ve ever seen, way ahead of everyone else, including Platini, Rummenigge and the rest. Maradona was a cut above everybody. Diego was not only the best player, but also the most honest, he was an example on the pitch. He was respectful of everyone, from the best known to the most humble. He was kicked to death and never complained, not like today's players". - Paolo Maldini.
  • When Diego scored that second goal against us, I felt like applauding. I’d never felt like that before, but it’s true… and not just because it was such an important game. It was impossible to score such a beautiful goal. He’s the greatest player of all time, by a long way. A genuine phenomenon." - Gary Lineker.
  • "The best of all times is Maradona. I admired him at the 1986 and 1990 World Cups. Today there are great players like Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo, but what I saw Maradona do I have not seen anyone else". - Ryan Giggs.
  • "Some say Pele was the greatest player of all time, but not me. Maradona will always be the greatest. He won World Cup in 1986, narrowly lost in the final in 1990 and then in 1994 maybe would have won it again had he not been banned. The crucial difference with Pele is that Maradona wasn’t surrounded by great players; he had to carry the team himself. If you took Maradona out of Argentina they would not win the World Cup, but I think Brazil without Pele would still have won.” - Eric Cantona
  • "Everyone was at his feet as a footballer. Diego was the best player in the world. To give you an idea, he was Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in one player" - Andreas Brehme.
  • “Pele’s my idol but I saw Maradona play. There’s no question in my mind that he’s the number one. He might have had his faults but he’s shown on the pitch what real football is all about. My dream is to play with him one day, if only for a few minutes. I learned a lot just by watching him play.”- Roberto Carlos.
  • "The best player there has ever been, better than Pele. I watched him closely in Italy every week and he was at a different level to everyone else. Some of the things he did were unbelievable. He could control the ball without looking, which meant if the pass was on, he would take it.” - Ruud Gullit
  • "There is something magical about Maradona. He was an artist, even with the excesses of artists, a genius that lived in his own world. We would all love to be Maradona, forgetting every stupid thing he did in his life, because he is the way he is, he is a whole, he is genuine. I had the pleasure of training him when he was already more than 50 years old. He was not well physically but when he had the ball at his feet he still was magic and above everyone on the pitch, he played with Baggio and Del Piero, and they gave him the ball. I think that hurts England, even today. They still remember it. Maradona struck at English pride for decades,” - Arsene Wenger
  • "Diego was capable of things no one else could match. What Zidane or I could do with a ball, Maradona could do them with an ORANGE." - Michel Platini.
  • "Maradona is a God to the people of Naples. Maradona changed history. In 80 years, we had always suffered, fighting against relegation, yet in seven seasons with him we won two leagues, a UEFA Cup, two Italian Cups. I’m a fan too and to live those years with Maradona was incredible. Being on the pitch when they won the Scudetto was amazing.” Fabio Cannavaro.
  • "The best of the lot, no question. In my generation, my era, he was simply the best. I saw Maradona do things that God himself would doubt were possible. He always had someone marking him, he always had someone hanging on to him, and yet he could still always conjure up wonderful pieces of magic. A genius.” - Zico
  • "“"Several people inspired me to become a football player. My uncle that was the one who supported me in anything, and another was Diego Maradona. My uncle once went to South America and when he came back he brought me a shirt from Argentina with the number 10 on it and that's how my love for him began. The first World Cup final I saw in my life was Mexico 86, so Maradona is God to me.” - Didier Drogba.
  • "We owe Diego so much that whatever he says, I am never about to agree or disagree. He gave us so much that I feel an obligation to listen and respect, rather than to listen and give my opinion. I feel special idolatry for Maradona, for all that he has given us Argentines through his magic football". - Marcelo Bielsa.
  • “I asked myself, ‘Who is this man? Who is this footballing magician, this Sex Pistol of international football, this cocaine victim who kicked the habit, looked like Falstaff and was as weak as spaghetti?’ If Andy Warhol had still been alive, he would have definitely put Maradona alongside Marilyn Monroe and Mao Tse-Tung. I’m convinced that if he hadn’t been a footballer, he’d've become a revolutionary.” - Emir Kusturica.
  • ["I want to salute Diego Maradona because for me he has been, and always will be, football. They invented the ball because they knew that Maradona would exist. He entered the pitch not to compete, but to have fun. The ball was looking for him and not the other way around." - Francesco Totti.
  • "He left a mark on me and my mind. Especially at the 1986 World Cup, those moments were absolutely sensational. I was 14 at the time and at that age you are aware of everything. At that moment I realized what a player he was and how different he was from the others. He won games without the help of anyone. In 1986, Maradona was in another level". As a player I tried to look like Francescoli, for example, by imitating his controls. But I never dared to try Maradona, because he is inimitable. After 25 years, I haven't seen anyone do anything like that. Even today and with all the great players out there, I think it's very difficult to repeat what Maradona did in 1986." - Zinedine Zidane.
  • “A genius, a real artist, one of the greatest players in the world. He could win a match on his own. On his own. It was all fair, he could have scored the first with his hand, but the second one was worth two goals. With Maradona, even Arsenal could have won the World Cup.” - Sir Bobby Robson.
  • "He is the best footballer I have ever played against. This also applies to his behaviour. Absolute respect. I hit him like nobody else because I was not able to contain him. But he never complained. I have good memories of him. I know he has had problems throughout his career, but he is a great guy and a fantastic footballer. We played against each other during the great Milan-Napoli showdown. I had to use forbidden techniques to stop Diego, he was unstoppable. Of the very good players, there is talk of one or two generations. But Maradona, and some others, will be talked about for the whole history of football" - Carlo Ancelotti.
  • "Messi and Maradona were different. I really don't know if he trained. He could do a very personal training, even with his laces untied. I remember when I was 21 years old that I saw him play at Stuttgart, for Napoli. Watching him warm up, it left you with your mouth open. It was at a very light intensity, he walked practically. But later, when the match started, he played better than everyone else. He silenced the whole stadium. It was an inconceivable thing." - Jürgen Klopp.
  • "Argentina these days has a strong defence. And in attack it has the dangerousness of Higuaín and Messi, the most gifted player of this century, capable of singlehandely winning a match. The comparison between him and Maradona in 1986 is very appropriate. However, Maradona was then a more exceptional player than what Messi is, even today." - Franz Beckenbauer.
  • "I think it's disgusting to make comparisons between Messi and Maradona. People who have seen Maradona play enjoyed it very much. People who see Messi do it too. Every era has its heroes, and they should not be compared at any price. Pele was a hero. So was I. So was Maradona. And today it's Messi's turn. Football itself should to be delighted that there is a guy like him because there will be enjoyment again" - Johan Cruyff.
  • "I don't compare myself to Maradona, I want to make my own story and remain in the pages of history for having done something. But even if millions of years go by, I won't be anywhere near Maradona. And I don't want to get close either. He is, and will always be the greatest of all time." - Lionel Messi.
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