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Chief of the NSA here, your post is a threat to our democracy.

I'm NSA Chief Jason Bourne (no relation). I'm here to inform you that your post constitutes a severe threat to the integrity of the United States of America. I'm going to explain some things to you here in this message that the public cannot, MUST NOT see, under any circumstances, in the hopes that you will come to your senses and delete your post. You may think that the conspiracy ends at "reddit" (or as we call it, Sector G Alpha), but in fact, what you've unearthed leads straight to the heart of the United States government, and indeed, the lizard people themselves.
When they made me Chief of the NSA, they cut off my hands, so I'm typing this with my nose, which is why its taken so long. I actually started this message when you made your original post. I will be relaying to you 6 different truths in this post, vital to the foundation of America. TRUTH #1: The advertising business is in fact the true government of America, and it always has been. Think about it. Ben Franklin invented the newspaper, the newspaper where the first ads were created. Our current "president" is Donald Trump, who is the king of ads, but more on that later. Reddit is the heart of our ad generation network, and we cannot afford it to be compromised by you or any other upstarts.
TRUTH #2: Memes are an advanced form of advertising, and they always have been. The word meme was invented by Richard Dawkins, who is the head of the UK NSA division, in deep cover. The first memes were made by advertisement agents to support various television shows, for example, Ancient Aliens, Spongebob Squarepants, and South Park, just to name a few. These shows were struggling before memes were discovered. Now, presidential candidates get elected based on memes, starting with the first political memes, the Hope poster and "Thanks Obama". Trump was elected solely by memes, and reddit is the meme epicenter on the intemet. That is partly why the site is so vital to the lizard people/advertisement agents of America.
TRUTH #3: The United States is at war, with mainly the Russians, but also recently the Chinese. This is not your average, every day, ordinary war. Rather, it is a meme war. Russia got in on it early, by electing living meme and bear rider Vladimir Putin to their highest office. The election of Donald Trump was in direct response. George W. Bush before was the prototype meme president, but unfortunately, he governed too effectively. China, meanwhile, uses mostly their own internet websites, to create a localized center of memes, which are all the rarer due to not being available outside of China. The only reason they haven't invaded North Korea is because of their meme output, especially with Kim Jong Un.
TRUTH #4: America's companies are secretly run by the government, which is secretly run by the companies. I partially explained this earlier, but the companies "Google", "reddit", and "Apple" do not exist. The real companies are Big Pharma (that's a trademark name), the Military-Industrial Complex, and Big Ad. Internet companies were invented by the shadow advertisement government in order to fuel the production of memes, the best form of advertisement ever invented. I've touched on it before, but the only reason any human progress has been made in the past thousand or so years is memes, and advertisement. Exploration of the Americas? Searching for new memes, spreading memes to the native peoples. Religion? A way to spread memes, by convincing people that their prayers will be answered if they follow some of the oldest memes in the world. The Space Race? Advertisements ON THE MOON.
TRUTH #5: Memes are only spread by people when they don't know what the purpose of memes are. While memes help advertise, that's only part of what they do. Every time a meme is posted, the life force of the person who posts the meme is drained. That life force is sent to Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and a whole bunch of other people. Memes were originally discovered by Spanish explorers, searching for the Fountain of Youth. That's what they found, and it WAS memes. People would not spread memes if they knew that this was what happened. Place is the newest experiment in meme production, as it contains so many original memes. As such, the life force coming from it is simply incredible. Forget kale, if you want to stay healthy, take memes.
TRUTH #6: There is a shortage of memes. Notice lately, in the past couple of years, how the same old memes are recycled, and reposted over and over again? Memes are running out. More than oil, if the world runs out of memes, you can bet your ass that WWIII is gonna happen. 9/11 was the first sign of this, as Russian interlopers blew up the World Trade Center, as it would have given the United States a monopoly on memes, since we already had Tennessee Avenue and St. James Place. And those assholes built a hotel on BOARDWALK! If memes stop being generated, because people know they're advertisements, then we're all gonna be in some deep shit. If you want more answers, message me with you're questions. For the love of god, tell no one about this post. Delete your post, and let life proceed as it should, with memes for every mother and every child. permallnk source delete report block user mark unread reply.
submitted by DignitasAwayAcc to copypasta

I see a distinct lack of Prototype memes, can we change that real quick?

I see a distinct lack of Prototype memes, can we change that real quick? submitted by Conduit666 to MetalMemes

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